Won't Say It, No No...

MistWeaver: I was on the car on my way home tonight when a thought crossed my mind.
Voice In The Mist: Another thought? Wow, you've really been working that poor brain of yours hard. Two of them in less than a week...
MW: Very funny.
VITM: So what was this thought of yours?
MW: It was "When did I become a girl?".
VITM: ...
VITM: Is there something you'd like to tell us, Weaver?
MW: Maybe I should explain.
VITM: Yeah, I think that's a good idea...

You see, I realized that for the past year, I've somehow become ... feminine. I mean, I still prefer fighting over skipping and barefoot over heels, but I wear dresses. And skirts. And heels. And occasionally makeup.

A couple of years ago you wouldn't have seen me in any of this beyond what my uniform required. But somewhere along the line I changed. And I'm not sure if I like the change. For one thing, guys don't treat me the same. Like, they won't fight me. Do you know how much that freaking sucks? And if I do get into a fight, people expect me to bite and scratch.

I mean, honestly. I know that's how a lot of chicks fight. BUT COME ON! I did freaking karate for eight freaking years. Teeth and nails? I think not. I can kick hard enough to cripple somebody. I do not need to bite them. I use my nails as a weapon if my books are in danger, my friends are in danger, or I need to intimidate someone. And occasionally as an accident.

The worst part though, the one that is the reason that this change is bugging me so much, is that I'm thinking like a girl. Oh, I don't mean like giggling and makeup and celebrities type of stereotype girl. I mean one thing and one thing only.

Boys.

Or rather, men. Because no boy could ever stand up to my thoughts. In fact, the thoughts would probably be illegal.

WHY DO THESE HORMONES AFFECT ME?

I mean, can't we just get the option to say 'thanks but no thanks. I think I'll wait another year'? They complicate things. They mess things up. They distract me.

VITM: Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
MW: Nobody asked you.
VITM: True, but I'm putting in my two cents anyway. How's that song in Hercules go?

*Clapping sound is heard and silvery words appear in mist*

(Muses)

Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'

He's the Earth and heaven to you

Try to keep it hidden

Honey, we can see right through you

Girl, ya can't conceal it

We know how ya feel and

Who you're thinking of



(Meg)

No chance, no way

I won't say it, no, no



(Muses)

You swoon, you sigh

why deny it, uh-oh



(Meg)

It's too cliche

I won't say I'm in love



(Muses)

Face it like a grown-up

When ya gonna own up

That ya got, got, got it bad



(Meg)

No chance, no way

I won't say it, no, no



(Muses)

Give up, and give in

Check the grin you're in love



(Meg)

This scene won't play,

I won't say I'm in love



(Muses)

Girl, don't be proud

It's okay you're in love



(Meg)

Oh

At least out loud,

I won't say I'm in love

MW: Are you suggesting that I'm in love? Because I'm not. And I don't have a stupid crush, either.
VITM: At your age, I don't think that truly falling in love is something that's possible. And you don't get stupid crushes, Weaver. You never have and you never will. I admit, you've become deceived once or twice when it seemed like a guy truly liked you and turned out to be an asshole (and I'm sure there's no bitterness there at all...), but at least you figured it out (with the help of your good friend Rebecca) in the end. However, not everything is to extremes. It is possible to feel something for someone that's between those two stages, you know. You're just using hormones as your excuse. Just like you don't get crushes, you also don't get all bent out of shape over some guy's body if you don't like the rest of him more than you'd like to admit. It ain't your style. Now why don't you just give up, give in, and tell us who the guy is.
MW: In your dreams. Do you know how many people that read this would kill for that information?

*evil grin appears in the mist and lips move to form the Voice as the grin slowly fades*

VITM: AHA! So there is a 'he'!
MW: What? No! I only meant...
VITM: I've got you now... There's no way you can deny it. There's written proof!
MW: I'm the writer, you know. I can delete it.
VITM: That's not your style either. I know these things.
MW: ...
MW: I hate you.
VITM: No you don't. You're just saying that to make me feel better.
MW: Whatever. The point is, I'm not going into this.
VITM: Not yet, anyway.
MW: You know what? I'm gonna bury this entry under many other long ones. Then maybe no one will read it...
VITM: What? Afraid that he reads your blog and might recognize himself?
MW: How did we get from being a girl to admitting who I like? If indeed there is someone?
VITM: I have absolutely no idea.
MW: Who cares? I'm going to bed. I refuse to talk about this any longer.

MistWeaver