Beautiful Bouncing Baby Boys' Birthdays Part I

MistWeaver: Ahhhhh, it's snowing!
Voice In The Mist: I've missed you too.
MistWeaver: Oh yeah. I've missed you as well. But if you could look beyond the mists in this place, you'd see that I do speak the truth.
Voice: I am the mist. Just because I reside in this place of confusion, unclarity, and untold beauty, doesn't mean I can't see outside of it.
Weaver: Yeah, yeah. I know. The snow is beautiful, but in my opinion mid-April is not the best time to be getting it. And to think, yesterday was a bright sunny, snowless day. Perfect for a party.
Voice: A birthday party?
Weaver: Aha! You catch on quickly! Indeed, a birthday party. For a beautiful bouncing baby boy. Ryan!
Voice: Except that he's not bouncing.
Weaver: I suppose not.
Voice: Or a baby.
Weaver: You're right, he's 16 now.
Voice: Or beautiful.
Weaver: That's your opinion.
Voice: And it wasn't his birthday.
Weaver: That's true. His real birthday's the 21st.
Voice: The way this is going, he's probably not a boy either.
Weaver: Yes, he is!
Voice: Well that's a relief, at least.
Weaver: In any case, I had a great time. I was kinda worried that I wouldn't, because every time I do go to a party at his house, I tend to have a crappy time. But this time it was fun. It started at an arcade...

Brian had taken his sweet time in getting ready to give me a ride, so I got to the mall 20 minutes late and was dumped off unceremoniously at the entrance with no clue where the arcade was. Lovely. Simply lovely. Late, alone, and lost.

As a small consolation, at least I looked good. Mama and I went shopping Friday, and I got this tunic I immediately fell in love with and was wearing with oriental orange poufy pants and ridiculous shoes with bows on the tips. I asked a man in a store where the arcade was, and he was happy to point me in the right direction. I wandered in, already going into my ghost persona (something I picked up from so much time in the mists: comepletely silent, closed in on myself, and fairly meek-looking) and searched for people I knew.

Luckily, Ryan wasn't hard to find with the black and white checkered band around his hat and checkered tie. He was playing (surprise, surprise) Dance Dance Revolution. Next to him, watching, was somebody else. I approached, first noticing the green and white striped stockings (the only colour of those stockings I don't own, preferring black and white), then the bowler hat, then the rest of the guy that I thought was wearing them. As I got closer, I realized that it was not a guy at all, but Ryan's friend Jace. Pity. The hat and stripes could have been sexy on a guy with the nerve to wear 'em.

Of the three other Ryan-friends there were, I knew two of them, Jace and Ian. I never have and still don't particularly like Jace. It's not a conscious thing: she just bugs me for a reason I don't really know. Of all the people to see first, especially while Ryan was busy, Jace wasn't the one I would've picked. So I did what I was used to doing: I went even deeper into ghost mode and leaned against the bar behind Ryan, watching him silently. At first I wondered if he'd noticed me, but I knew that he was too aware of his surroundings not to have.

Soon he finished and turned to me. I handed him the four newspaper-wrapped gifts with the crossed-candy-canes on top (I dove into my stash to supply them) and he told me to hang on to them for a second while he finished his game, then gave me a white paper bag filled with tokens. While he was stepping away at DDR, Micheline (his mother) appeared behind us.

Voice: Oh, joyous. Someone I'm sure you absolutely love.

Weaver: Uh huh. Not. I gave her the presents and Ryan finished his stage to turn to the rest of us. Insert Micheline-type convo (long, winding, and repetitive, with little input from us) and then we somehow ended up back in the other side with the kind of games where you win tickets and turn them in for prizes.

There I met the friend Justin, A dark-skinned cutie whom I didn't know, and found out that Ian had yet to arrive. Micheline kept showing Justin off to me when the others ran to play games and I hung back, calling him Ryan's best friend and oldest friend and church friend (the last probably being the reason she was calling him the other two, since I've never heard Ryan speak of Justin as either). In any case, I was impressed that they'd known each other so long, and that Justin was black.

The shock of seeing someone of my colouring as a friend of Ryan's, especially such a good friend, hit me in a surprising way. I'm not being a bigot; I was always so used to seeing tons of black kids around Montreal that the fact that there are next to none here had the sight of anybody coloured surprising me. Justin's around my normal colour, before I went all pale from lack of sunlight.

Voice: Maybe you'd tell us your natural colour?

Weaver: Of course. I used to be a dark golden brown. Right now it's kind of sickly gold, though. He has less gold and more brown.

Voice: On with the story.

MistWeaver: Indeed. So I stayed with the ghost act because it was the best I could do, and nodded and smiled at Micheline's chatter, and then fled as soon as I could. Ryan showed me all the different games, and I nodded and smiled at him where applicable and wasted lots of tokens playing them, trailing after the others and eventually going off on my own. I figured they wouldn't miss me, and that way nobody had to show me everything and make me feel even more like an outsider.

I saw Ian arrive, but he didn't see me. I smiled to see him. I really like that boy, odd as he is. A computer genius who's paranoid of anything abnormal (which makes the fact that his best friends are Jace and Ryan and their group even weirder), he doesn't like going places without parental supervision. Tell me, what 16 year old wants parental supervision everywhere? It's unnatural, but endearing.

When Ian did notice me (I think Ryan pointed me out to him), he gave a real smile (to my surprise) and said hi. He seemed as genuinely glad to see me as I was to see him. Weird, but uplifting. I think I may have actually regained a bit of life at that point, lost the transperancy a little. I know it felt like I did.

What I really wanted to do throughout all of this was try DDR, but I didn't want to disappear and have Micheline worry or something. But she left once Ian arrived, so I drifted into the video arcade and to my surprise (and I'll admit it, chagrin) Ryan followed me, and Jace and Ian followed him. I'm happy to say that the quiet Justin stayed in the tickets place, winning hundreds of tickets. I forfeited all of mine to Ryan, so that he could do whatever he wanted with them.

Ryan set me up on the game, choosing a song and everything for me. Again, I was a mix of grateful and wishing that he would go away. On one hand, it was nice to have him set it up since I hadn't played since it first came out, but on the other hand, I felt kinda spineless since the others were all watching, and I'm not used to depending on anyone for anything. After all, if I had been alone, I wouldn't have been in ghost mode, and I could have laughed and muddled my way through it, feeling only slightly stupid.

I also discovered something else at that moment: I bloody suck. He kept asking me if I wanted to put it harder, but every time I agreed, I failed miserably. He had much more faith in me than I had in myself, I can say that much. He kept telling me that if it was too difficult, he'd finish it up for me so that I wouldn't get a game over (yeah, right. Over my dead body would I let him finish a game for me and emphasize even more my lack of prowess).

Finally, Jace came and demanded her tickets from Ryan (who had pooled them all) and everyone went away to play their own game of DDR a little bit away. I thankfully relaxed at my lack of audience (and still sucked). When I was done, I noticed that they had all disappeared but Ian, who I was amused to find had fallen as much in love with the game as I had (although he fared somewhat better at his own first attempts).

Wandering around the arcade trying to find out if they had Tekken, the game that I used to adore, I noticed a few shooting games. Once, Kai brought home a plugin gun from his friends, and I found that much as I despise arms in real life, in games I love using them and was quite good at them, provided I had a real gun and not just a joystick. I didn't have very many token left, so I tried a three token game. And found out that it had the nasty tendency to eat tokens and the gun needed major calibrating, causing all my shots to go off some four or five inches to the left of where I shot. So I tried another. And it was worse. Finally I went to find an attendant to ask if I could get a refund on my tokens.

I met Jace, Ian, Justin and Ryan there, and discovered that they were unpooling the tickets to get various individual prizes. I gave Ryan my twenty left from what I hadn't previously forked over and asked the attendant for my tokens. He told me I couldn't have them back, but to tell him the game I wanted to play and he'd give me credit for it. I showed him DDR (I couldn't resist) and he gave me four credits. Except that they were equivalent to four games, not four credits for one game. Score! Of course, someone accidentally pressed a button on the first screen so I ended up playing my first game as one person using two pads. Aye yi yi, as if one pad weren't enough. Hopping from one to the other, once I finally figured out what was going on... O.O Twas hard, and impossible.

When I finished, I turned to the entrance to wander around outside (I had no tokens left) and saw Ian coming towards me. He smiled and motioned to me and said that the group had decided to be idiots. I laughed and followed him and we chatted. I discovered the others were throwing things off the balcony then running down to get them and doing it again. Mostly, it was toy soldiers with parachutes, but Jace was pointing her laser pointer at things and people too. I'm just glad that she was smart enough not to go near me with it, since she had the tendency to wave it in people's eyes.

After they tired of their game, we walked downstairs and Ryan encountered dudes he knew. Ian and I went back up while he, Jace and Justin chatted with the people. I tried sliding down the banister, but I wasn't wearing slippery enough clothing and every time I lifted my hands from the rail to go faster, Ian freaked. Psh. We were only a few stories up.

I thank the mists again and again that he was there. At least with him there (and Justin too, though he was too quiet for it to be a big thing) I wasn't the odd one out. For some reason, whether it's my way of thinking, or my likes and dislikes, or even the age difference, I always feel so abnormal around Ryan's friends. Maybe it's how Ryan's different with them. Oh, I don't mean that he's a completely different person, but with me we don't talk about who's better at video games, or whatever current things are going on at school, or chat about common acquaintances, simply because I don't play the games he does, nor do I own any of the platforms, I don't go to his school, and I don't know any of the people he does.

Anyways. In a little while, everyone joined us, and we saw Micheline in a wheelchair and slippers coming towards us. I guessed by the unsurprised look on Ryan's face (and the fact that she always parks in handicapped spots and tells me all about the various things wrong with her body) that it wasn't unusual for things like this to occur. Honestly, it occurs to me that she might be a bit of a hypochondriac. Then again, I come from a family where we don't share all of our problems with everyone and anyone we meet. She makes it a point to tell everybody everything about her. Personally, I could do with not knowing when she has a yeast infection, or about the problems with her marriage, or even the reasons that Ryan needs babying. But like I said, I'm a very personal person.

Voice: Who likes to write.
Weaver: Indeed. That's how I express myself. I can exagerate or downplay or create or destroy. It's my world, and I can do with it what I will.
Voice In The Mist: Much like the mists. There can be endless amounts of things hidden in it.
MistWeaver: Very true. The world could be dying and you'd never know... But I digress. I have indeed missed talking to you, but I do believe I shall end my tale here. This was basically all of the unfun part, anyway. It got better, much better, and by the end I didn't want to go home. I'll chit chat later, for I have projects to work on. Tah!

Harmony,

MistWeaver

Back and Black and Saving the World

The answer is, I am!

Yes indeedy. Things are mostly sorted out and I live to serve all you faithfuls who have kept up and borne with me through this difficult time. I hope to no longer have to neglect my blog for a very long time, but I can't make any promises.

Basically, there are a couple of big new items going around in my life. It's a new semester (and it's over half finished already o.O), so I have all new classes. They happen to be much harder ones, too. I know, I know... I get no breaks... *feels sorry for herself for a half second*

The absolute most important thing going on in my life right now is the Weekend To End Breast Cancer. If you live near Toronto, Vancouver, Calgary or Montreal, you may have heard of this. Basically, it's a two-day 60 kilometre walk to raise money and awareness for breast cancer. Everybody who participates has to raise a minimum of 2000 dollars, and most people raise double that or more. Thousands of people from these four cities, each raising tons and tons of money? That's not something to scoff at. Hundreds of millions of dollars being raised. We truly are the end.

But we can't be, I can't be, without raising the money. My grandmother died of breast cancer, and both my mother and I are at really high risk. I don't want to have to go through the suffering of someone I love dying; not again. I don't want to die, either. Especially if I have kids one day. What I went through when my grandmother died, what I watched happen to my mother when her best friend died... it was all horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Every single person that I help, any life that I save, makes it all worthwhile.

In Canada, one in 9 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. One in three will die from it. 407 women are diagnosed on average every week. Look around at any large group of people you know: a classroom, an office. Now look again and think about the fact that at least a few of them will die an early death. Look around a class and know that not all of the girls in it will live to see sixty. Look around your office and know that you may not be working with a women in a few years because she's dead. If that thought doesn't affect you at all, maybe you should take another look at your own life and your priorities.

So basically what I'm saying is that as my first act of the reestablishment of my blog, I'm asking you to help me on this. Here's a link to my personal page on the Weekend site:

http://cl05.endcancer.ca/site/TR?pg=personal&fr_id=1000&px=1162598

If it doesn't work, try www.endcancer.ca and search for my in the list of walkers. My name is Aya Gabriel. My site has the abridged story of my grandmother's death, and my dream for this walk. I would like to ask everybody to donate a hundred and fifty dollars, but I know it's not likely to happen. So instead, I'm asking everyone who reads this to donate 30$. If you can afford more, I would really appreciate it. Online, secure donations can be transacted by credit card, and if you can't do that, contact me at that.misty.place@gmail.com and we can arrange something. Ask your parents, friends, siblings relatives, because everybody has been affected in some way by this disease. Copy this, forward it, link it. Do the same for my and my mother's personal page. If you really don't have much money to donate, anything you have brings me closer to my goal and closer to a cure.

The walk is August 12th to 14th, 2005. My mother, Thelia Foster, is also walking. Together, it's us two alone with thousands of other women and men across Canada. I'm probably going to be keeping my blog updated with my progress, because it's such a huge part of my life right now.

Again, thanks you to everyone who's kept right with my blog through the hiatus and the tough period beforehand. Thanks to anyone and everyone who donates. Hugs for all! Harmony and love, peace through the ages, and Goddess bless.

We are the end.

MistWeaver